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31 October. Halloween and the last of the summer rides. 20 miles.

Alan was called all sorts of names for having planned this Halloween ride but not taken part on account of having a cold. But there was no pity for him as seven spooky Windmillers tackled the Bastardos he made us climb, cursing and swearing like evil monsters as we rode along.

Starting from The Red Cow in Chrishall at 2.30pm, Rod set off like a rocket, Maurice-style, followed at a distance by Simon, Sandra, Iain, Andrew, Nick and Martin. But we soon ground to a halt, not once, not twice but three times before exiting Chrishall in the direction of Chrishall Grange, to sort out Simon’s scraping rear mudguard and Rod’s computer (at least, that’s what it might have been). This is Alan’s route:

Eventually we got it together and whizzed downhill towards Chrishall Grange before turning right and heading towards the first Bastardo – the nasty, bumpy, steep hill from Ickleton Old Grange up to the better financed Essex border where the smooth tarmac starts. On the way there were cars and vans trying to overtake us and others waiting patiently at the top of the hill for the puffers amongst us to reach the summit. What was going on with the A505 we wondered?

Thereafter, another stop was made to adjust Simon’s scraping mudguard; this time Andrew’s brute force and ignorance seemed to do the trick and it was all peace and quiet from then on. Well done, Dawg!

Stopping for tea and crumpets at Simon’s house was hinted at as we passed through Littlebury Green but none were available and, anyway, the light was already fading. So it was down the long hill, reaching over 30mph, and then up the second Bastardo of the ride towards Duddenhoe End.

In Arkesden a stop was made to admire the Halloween decorated house (shown above) opposite The Axe and Compasses, where rebuilding work is making progress. The owner showed us his evil talking spider and then rushed back to his house on seeing Rod coming towards him with a menacing look on his face.

It was quite a relief to turn right in Clavering and sail back with the wind behind, Nick peeling off back to Meesden at one stage. Then Andrew peeled off in Langley Upper Green to talk to his garage man, leaving Rod, Sandra, Iain and Martin to have a chat around the table in The Red Cow and to toast absent friends, this being the first ride since we had learnt of the passing of our great friend Lawrence Wragg. RIP Lawrence; we’ll miss you,

The last time we saw Lawrence on his bike – a short ride alongside a French canal on Monday 27 June 2022. Thereafter he became known as Goldilocks for sleeping in a bed in the wrong B&B, without checking in or checking out.

And on that sad note, this draws to an end a summer of wonderful hot Monday rides. But the good news is that future rides will start at the earlier time of 11.00am and, who knows, could involve a light lunch somewhere each week. More anon from our Monday organiser, Alan, who we should thank for organising this ride. It wasn’t that bad, really!

Martin

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