The Windmill Cycle Club

Every traveller through Fulbourn, when not admiring the splendid Victorian architecture of the old hospital, must have pondered on the etymology of the street name: “Haggis Gap”. No ? then skip a paragraph or two…

What could a 400 metre long street in South Cambridgeshire possibly have to do with an old Scottish offal dish? A project officer from the Archaeological Field Unit at Cambridgeshire County Council took up the challenge, giving a surprising insight into local history. He wrote: “Local Village History records groups of ‘clans’ of Haggi (plural of Haggis) living in the hills around Fulbourn, Cherry Hinton and Shelford. Those who know of Hill Dwelling Haggis know that the two inside legs are shorter than the outside legs (for ease of running around mountains (or hills in Cambs)”. He continued: “The Haggis Gap gets its name from the drove way created by local villagers to trap the haggi as they ran clockwise round the Fulbourn hills. The last recorded sighting came from Tim McMalim who trapped a 15 lbs Haggis in 1902.” So there we have it.

There was a postscript, however. The archaeologist went on to say: “OKAY actually the real story is this: It was a small trackway and there was a gap in the field boundary (hedge) through which the local owners’ (surname Haggis) could access their land, hence the name.”

Still reading ? on with the blog….

Nine of us congregated at Café 19, Duxford, on a pleasantly mild and calm October morning. Jeremy’s flat route was to take us round the East side of Cambridge and up to Anglesey Abbey for coffee.

As usual with a Jeremy route, there was much use of cycle paths, starting directly from the car park at café 19 (OK, strictly speaking, this particular one may be a footpath), out of Duxford and across the busy A505 then through Whittlesford and the shared use path over to Sawston. Out past Stapleford and we were on the famous genome cycleway, now looking sadly faded (has anyone actually checked its accuracy, by the way ?). Past the ever expanding biomedical campus and Worts Causeway we were onto our one hill of the day, over the Gogs towards Fulbourn. At the top of this hill, we all paused to catch breath and, in Martin B’s case, to pick himself off the tarmac after an involuntary tumble (hope the knee isn’t too sore ?).

Onwards past Haggis Gap and Northwards to finally arrive at Anglesey Abbey where the coffee queues were as long as ever but thankfully, once negotiated, the warm temperatures allowed us to all sit outside.

The return leg made use of many of the dedicated cycle ways past Teversham and through Cherry Hinton before once again re-joining the Genome cyclepath. A short detour through the Shelfords brought us back through Whittlesford and back to Duxford.

Food at café 19 was as excellent as usual, tempered only very slightly by the absence of draft ale.

Many thanks to Jeremy for organising.

Riders: Howard, Graham, Charles, Rob, Tom, Jeremy, Brian, Martin B, Rod.

Martin W, Ken and Maurice for Lunch.

Keith organised a treat of a ride for us starting and finishing at a fine pub, The White Horse, in the Suffolk village of Whepstead. But was Charles in a cherry picker, did he have his drone with him or was he up a ladder to take the photo above at the start, featuring strong-man Simon holding his bike aloft? We shall never know.

Windy, windy (winedy), or windy (winedy), windy? Take your pick. Wotever, the lanes were windy (winedy) and it was indeed windy, particularly on the return leg when it was on the nose. But that was all the more reason to enjoy a pint courtesy of birthday boy Keith.

Setting off in two groups of seven, the participants this week besides Keith were Rod, Charles, Martin B, Howard, Brian, Andrew, Simon, Tom, Rob, Roger, Alan, Graham and Martin W. Ken also joined the ride towards the end. It was great to have Roger with us again, having come down from Norfolk for the day.

Keith’s route took us south from Whepstead through delightful countryside on almost traffic free roads, and when a driver was encountered they were invariably courteous. What a difference to the average Essex driver. Approaching Lavenham both groups decided to stop for a photo with the church in the background and, hey ho, Keith subsequently asked Claude or one of his AI pals to merge the photos into a fake:

In case you’re concerned, all the remaining photos from here on are genuine.

Skirting Lavenham we were soon at a favourite coffee stop, Café Como, just south of the village, where we chatted with other cyclists from the surrounding area and once again enjoyed some fine coffee and cakes.

The return leg took us along more windy (winedy) lanes and through Brent Eleigh where St Mary’s Church was doing a fine job marketing itself, inviting those passing to see the wall paintings and box pews.

It was head down into the north westerly most of the way back, or switching to normal or turbo mode for those on e-bikes:

Back at the pub we had a great meal and thanked Keith for a good ride and wished him a happy birthday in the usual resounding way.

This is where we went:

https://www.outdooractive.com/en/route/road-cycling/east-england/whepstead-route/355101609/?share=%7E3spgbssc%244ossqfcp

Martin W.

Its not often that local Windmill rides get me onto lanes I’ve never cycled before, but Howard’s Essex oddysey from Thaxted, looping South around Great Dunmow, had them aplenty (with the bonus of a new café as well !).

Having been away most of September, it was very noticeable how Autumnal it had all become. The morning was barely light at 7.30 and there was a palpable chill in the air. On the plus side, the cool air was beautifully clear. Long sleeves and many long cycling leggings were in evidence.

Starting from the Maypole, to the sound of a steady stream of budget airline flights from Stansted taking the good folk of Essex to warmer climes, we were expertly divided into three riding groups by Alan.

The start was lovely and fast along fantastic quiet lanes. A glimpse at the roadside flags showed that we were being aided considerably by a stiff Northerly breeze. (Personal moan: if you ARE going to fly a Union Jack, fly the blo#dy thing the right way up. And yes, “Union Jack” is an acceptable name for tat flag even when flown on land). Despite the ride been slightly longer than usual at 55km, we were soon at the Snug Café at High Easter – clearly a favourite of the local trades workers with a steady stream of ‘full English’ being consumed. For our part, coffee and cakes were equally welcome.

The weather Gods giveth and the weather Gods taketh away and so it was that the three groups turned into the chilly breeze along more fantastic quiet lanes for the ride through Felsted, past the Blue Egg and back to Thaxted.

Fine local beers and good food and good company. Many thanks to Howard for organising and everyone contributing photos.

Riders: Howard, Rachel, Keith, Alan, Simon, Graham, Charles, Andrew, Rob, Victor, Nigel, Tom, Jeremy.

Chalk one up to the Met Office ! The forecast for Thursday at 09.00 for Guilden Morden was for torrential rain, which dutifully materialised. However the rain map predicted a steady decline in precipitation and so a shorter route starting at 11.00 was proposed. Three Windmillers (four, including Rick riding to the pub for lunch) put their faith in the forecast and were fully rewarded with a largely dry 35km ride. Meanwhile, many more put their faith only in a community owned freehouse pub lunch but not the Met office and were also well rewarded.

The ride itself was a figure of 8 around Ashwell with a cake stop at Batch 52 in Baldock.

The riders were Nigel, who also bought birthday beers but somehow missed the embarrassment of the Windmillers singing Happy Birthday, Rod and Graham.

Lunch only at the Three Tuns, a new venue: Rick, Howard, Andrew, Ken, Maurice, Keith, Simon, Brian, Tom.

A flat back tyre before we’d even left the pub car park for Alan ! Getting the tyre off the rim turned out to be the work of two people and three tyre levers, as stubborn as it was, but reseating it went easily to just thumb pressure. Go figure! Re inflation gave us the opportunity to watch Rach’s mini battery pump in action and it soon had the tyre up to the required 90 psi. Very impressive. Slightly less impressive was Charles’ electric pump which he produced which looked more on the scale of an industrial compressor than a bike pump. We didn’t try it.

Eight riders had arrived at the Crown at Hartest, pub with attached Brewshed brewery. Keith was re-running an old favourite circuit around the ever delightful Suffolk lanes. According to the met office, the weather was set fair, if a bit breezy and a bit cooler than of late, until lunchtime. So much faith had Keith in the met office that he set off without a rain jacket. Hmmm.

We set off a bit later than anticipated due to the aforementioned puncture repair, but soon made rapid progress through pretty Suffolk villages heading for Brent Eleigh and refreshment. Of course, the inevitable happened and we were hit by a sharp shower (for those that had them, rain jackets on and off was the order of the ride).

Pausing only briefly for a photo opportunity in Brent Eleigh, it was into the delightful and friendly Café Como and its array of delicious fresh home made cakes.

From here, a good pace took us past the outskirts of Lavenham and finally down the steep hill back into Hartest (that would not have been a nice hill to ride up at the start of a ride !).

Gathering around the lunch table supping the home brewed ale, somehow we got onto the subject of how to sober up a frog that had fallen into a beer trap. Honestly. And rinse it with water is the answer.

Many thanks to Keith for organising and everyone contributing photos.

Riders: Rachel, Keith, Alan. Simon, Brian, Graham, Charles, Rod.

Clare Castle was first built in the 11th century by Richard FitzGilbert, who was estimated to have been the sixth wealthiest non-royal layman in England at the time of Domesday Book. The Castle flourished for three centuries until the death of Elizabeth de Clare in 1360. The picture below shows the Windmill club posing in front of the castle before departing for their ride.

Unusually for us, there were many photographic contributions in and around the ride this week so this blog is picture heavy and trivia light (yay !). As you can see, dusty straw colour dominated in the dry landscape, but at least the riders were adding a splash of colour.

The ride was one of Keith’s excellent Suffolk outings starting at the Swan, Clare with coffee (and marshmallows) at Willow Tree Farm café near Glemsford. Fourteen riders set off (with Ken joining late on for lunch) for a largely incident free cruise through the countryside, past pretty villages and many fine historical manors and farms.

The first part of the ride was mostly flat and down wind, through the Belchamps and past the gliding club to our halfway stop at Willow Tree Farm and its menagerie of unusual pets.

The second part of the ride was a hillier and breezier affair looping up past Hawkedon, Stansfield and Denston before finally arriving back in Clare for lunch.

Lunch at the Swan follows a cheap and cheerful formula with great value sandwiches and chips in a basket meals. Today there was no temptation to eat indoors with riders squeezed onto two tables in whatever shade we could muster.

Thanks to Keith for a most enjoyable ride and thanks to the numerous photographers.

Riders: Martin B (welcome back !), Keith, Victor, Maurice, Andrew, Paul, Alan, Rob, Rod, Charles, Graham, Simon, Howard, Brian, Ken for lunch.

When I heard this ride was from The Maypole at Thaxted, my first thoughts concerned parking. Those thoughts were summed up by a picture in the pub.

However it turned out to be easy to park on Bardfield Road. Here I found Alan with his new car. Very nice. And Ken with his non-functional electric bike. Not so nice. After much fiddling Ken’s only alternative was a short walk to the pub to say hello and then to return home again. Bad luck, Ken. Don’t think of this as failure. It could be that ‘“… your purpose that day was to serve as a warning to others.” (aka Pot-shots cartoon)

Paul had designed a lovely route with miles of quiet road, which were used so infrequently they had gravel down the middle. We usually define grass down the middle as perfect, but with this weather it was too much to ask.

Group 1: Rick, Victor, Paul, Tom, Maurice and myself. Group 2: Rod, Geoff, Keith, Howard, Alan. With the start being close to home I thought it might have been more, but its holiday season I guess. Really nice weather for riding though.

Coffee was at The Booking Hall on Flitch Way, formerly the Braintree to Bishops Stortford, line curtesy of Dr Beeching. Of course this name is synonymous with railway cuts, but that was no sin. The sin was to have no plan, no mention even in the report, of what the ‘redundant’ land was to be used for. My opinion is that many of the UK’s deepest problems go back to land, who owns it and what tax they pay. Still that’s for another day and for people to try and continue to distract us by talking about issues around trade I suppose.

Still we are not too serous, especially during breaks. So we occupied ourselves with important club traditions. Like Andrew and myself taking over all the toys, much to the amusement of more ‘grown up’ guests.

That’s what breaks are for, when you get tired of being grown up.

I did notice a construction which could be used at the back of the saddle of a very fat cyclist. Lesson here, eat less cake.

Return to the pub was uneventful, despite Andrew’s dire safety warnings. I opted to just go as fast as possible on that little bit of fast road back into Thaxted. That’s best thing isn’t it ? Get out of the way as soon as possible.

The food is excellent at the Maypole. The staff are friendly, but I don’t fancy her. Do you?

I was happy to sit outside in the increasingly intense sunshine with a beer admiring Andrew’s knowledge of the aircraft flying into Stanstead and the art in the pub garden.

We have a good deal to be grateful for. Not least of which was a great route from Paul and beer from Victor who received a (very) late rendition of Happy Birthday in return for his generosity. Victor has also constructed a very swanky looking list of old routes on the club website. All that’s necessary for organizing a route is to pinch one and ring up the pub/cafe. It should be an absolute goldmine for future routes.

Needless to say we haven’t forgotten those excused from this weeks ride with problems (health, grandchildren, bike problems, combination of aforementioned things) aka Martin, Charles, Nigel. We expect you all to report for action very soon. No excuses.

So that’s it. Thank you all for your various contributions, not forgetting both Mondays and Thursdays. A vintage year in the making considering all the changes happening to the club.

Does anyone remember Hot Rod racing on ITV’s World of Sport, back in the olden days ? Huge, powerful motorised monstrosities setting off at break neck speed to the accompaniment of an ear shattering din and, no doubt, the stench of nitro boosted fuel.

Meanwhile, last Thursday, ‘Hot’ Rod’s ‘Magnificent’ 7 saddled up their push bikes and e bikes and sedately trundled off from Therfield as a single group. Gentle conversation was all that was heard accompanied by a faint aroma of Factor 50 sun tan cream.

Some background here: ‘Hot’ Rod because – yes – it was very hot. ‘Magnificent’ 7 because, despite discretion being the better part of valour, 7 riders had decided to brave the heat for this Windmill ride. As a concession, Rod had planned a flat route shortened to 44km (27 miles or so) with the promise of a discretionary additional ice cream stop.

One personal takeaway from this ride: Never ask a man with an e bike whether a ride is “flat”. Instead, disconnect his battery and then ask whether the ride is “flat”. This ride was NOT flat. Lesson learnt.

The ‘flat’ ascent to Sandon and ‘Animal Farm’ was followed by the even flatter ascent to Wallington (one time home of George Orwell, although Animal Farm wasn’t written there).

A fast descent took us down to the gravel track over the A505 into Baldock. Here we had the debate between ice cream now, before the biggest ‘flat’ hill of the day to Weston OR get the biggest ‘flat’ hill of the day to Weston out of the way first. In the end, we opted to get the hill out of the way first before it got too hot followed, by a trip to Weston village stores and much deserved ice cream.

Reluctant to set off again, there was a prolonged discussion on the merits of the forthcoming candidates for Clacton, with Count Bin Face’s clear and articulate policies being particularly appreciated.

A few ups and downs but only one significant flat hill before the official stop at Ardeley where the traditional Cappuchinos and Hot Chocolates were substituted by ice cream and iced coffee.

From here it was a mostly flat ride back to Therfield although by now, the air temperature was soaring and perspiration flowed.

Back at the Fox and Duck, it turned out Deborah was in the chair for Birthday Beers ! Happy birthday. No doubt lured into their air conditioned cars by the thought of this free beer, the riders were greeted by 4 other Windmillers already at the bar when we arrived.

Thanks (?) Rod for organising and Deborah for the much needed refreshment. Thanks also to Martin for taking all he photos and appearing in none of them.

Riders: Deborah, Rod, Geoff, Martin, Keith, Paul, Graham
Pub only: Maurice, Brian, Ken, Gareth

We assembled at The Three Horseshoes, Helions Bumpstead. The French brigade were missing, but 11 riders were ready to go.  Brian had organised the ride and group 1 consisted of Brian, Howard, Paul, Victor, myself and Maurice.

We proceeded to Finchingfield in ideal cycling conditions and arranged for the usual photos. Group 2 consisted of Graham, Deborah, Rick, Geoff, Charles.

We stopped to admire the unusual round spire of St. Peter and St. Paul in Saling. Apparently this church is full of graffiti from 1556. Not much has changed over the years; carved initials for posterity, piss-takes of authority figures and idle doodling. A fine tradition always followed by the English when they have spare time. I think that’s why we have avoided dictators and revolutions. We just can’t take it all seriously.

Of course we have great respect for national monuments, but sometimes they just feel so good under-foot. And so it proved with the ‘ancient glacial erratic boulder of weathered sandy limestone’ located outside the church.

Coffee was at Andrews airfield where Brian had recently had a ‘flying experience’ sponsored by his children. Which reminds me I must copy my son into this blog.

Andrews airfield was built by US engineers starting in July 1942 and finishing in March 1943. It was redundant by 1945 with the planes moving to Europe following the allied advance.

Its most famous resident was an aircraft called ‘Flak-Bait’ which did a record number of sorties and participated in June 6th 1944 D-day landings. It is now preserved in the Smithsonian museum.

After 202 missions it has over 1000 holes in it from Flak. Its hard to imagine sitting in a Perspex canopy in this situation but first-hand accounts are available.

Worrying and quite bad for the upholstery I suppose.

Some of the posters however were in a lighter vein.

Another highlight was an extensive off-road section from Stebbing northwards back towards Great Barfield. It consisted of hard-packed road planings including at least two cats-eyes amongst the rubble.

Back at the pub we were all treated to a drink by Geoff who was celebrating, if that’s the right term, a significant birthday.

He looks rather well on it I think.

It was a glorious day by this point and after the usual singing we settled down to make the most of it.

And why wouldn’t we? Another great day out. Thanks to Brian, Geoff and all the other contributors to our club. Onwards and upwards.

Last week’s forecast had been bad enough, deterring many folk from availing themselves of free birthday beers. This week’s forecast was even worse and so correspondingly fewer riders ventured out on Martin W’s rural Essex tour. In fact, only six riders donned their rain outfits and ventured out from Chequers at Matching Green for a visit to the top secret nuclear bunker at Kelvedon Hatch.

To begin with, the rain held off, by and large, as Martin’s ‘flat’ ride took us over Toot Hill and Ladys Hill with their splendid views of the surrounding countryside. Finally we arrived at Kelvedon Hatch and its ‘secret bunker’ from the cold war era, now a tourist destination with an honesty box café and gift shop.

Martin had arranged for us to gain entry through the quiet back gate where we arrived at the original bungalow beneath which the bunker had been built. We had to backtrack a bit to find the café entrance through a narrow tunnel.

There was not enough time to take the official tour, but there was plenty of information on hand from Charles who had worked with the logistics of this site (amongst his many other roles). One of five similar facilities alongside the main government and MoD centres, apparently.

The bunker was built in the early 1950s, initially as an RAF radar station but from the late 1950s and early 1960s it served as one of Britain’s potential emergency regional government HQs, and the MoD (Charles) kept the bunker in working condition for a good three decades.

In the early 1990s, however, the Kelvedon Hatch bunker was decommissioned. The property was handed back to the original landowners and it has since been turned into the present museum.

On emerging through the entrance tunnel, we were reminded of why there were only six riders out today. It was rainy and not particularly warm ! With all layers on, it was heads down survival riding back to the pub. Temporary chaos ensued in the men’s toilet as wet layers were discarded in favour of dry clothes.

Thankfully for the rest of the clientele, no one need to use the loo at that point. Also thankfully for them we had been seated about as far from the other customers as was possible and so the traditional off key “Happy Birthday, dear Alan” didn’t disturb anyone. A well earned lunch and birthday beer.

Martin, Rod, Nigel, Alan, Graham, Charles. Paul joined in the bunker stop.

The Crown in Little Walden is a phenomenally popular destination for drinkers and diners alike, with its charming interior, fine gravity fed cask ales and good hearty food. With this in mind, Ken had booked us in months in advance for his Birthday ride and beers (and, incidentally, making it a hat trick of rides from Butchers Hill residents in the past 3 weeks !).

Hadstock common, a relatively elevated area of land to the North of Saffron Walden is, today, a quiet area of woodland and farmland. It is home to a model plane flying field and a pleasant science research park which has grown up around the 1840 mansion house. It must have been very different when it was home to the USAF Eigth Airforce and 3,000 personnel during WW2 !

From a road cyclist’s perspective, the common is a bit of a route planning problem, with circular rides often having to traverse the busy Saffron Walden town centre. Not this week, though ! Ken had negotiated passage through the private grounds of the research park, past the old mansion house with its fantastic views out to rolling countryside to the West.

And so it was 13 lucky riders set off up the quiet road to the back of the research park, where the barriers were duly raised, and sailed on through down to Little Chesterford. Here we had to negotiate our first set of road closures before splitting into more manageable sized groups before a short stretch on the old London Road.

A feature of this ride was a tour of some of the sharper hills in the local area, the one from Littlebury to Littlebury Green being the first on and the one up to Duddenhoe End being another. Then the one out of Newport before finally a well earned coffee stop at Blossom’s Tea Rooms.

More closed roads to negotiate before finally the last climb out of Hadstock (home of St Botolph’s and reputedly the oldest working wooden door in England) up to the common and down to the Crown for lunch.

Fine food and beer and a somewhat muted rendition of “Happy Birthday” on a crowded pub patio. Thanks Ken and thanks for a great, if spiky, route.

Possibly due to the absence of Charles and despite a request to “stop and admire the scenery and buildings”, after one group went from 3 to 1 last week – there appears to be only one photo for the blog from the peloton today ! sorry

Rod, Andrew, Paul, Victor, Geoff, Howard, Alan, Ric, Robert, Deborah, Graham, Simon and Ken. Maurice for lunch.

Fifteen Windmillers gathered at The Cock in Henham on a nice warm day to hear birthday boy Graham’s safety briefing before a ride to the Blue Egg café and back, in three groups of five – at least that was the plan. He didn’t mention ear defenders whilst we crossed the line of planes approaching Stansted Airport, the main focus once again being on avoiding potholes. Just think of how many potholes could have been filled had successive governments not made such a hash of HS2, now reckoned to cost more than the Artemis mission to the Moon. Cut the crap and get on with the blog I hear you say……

So three groups of five set off, (or was it one of six, one of five and one of four, I’m not sure?). All I know is that I was in Group 2 and happily stayed there the whole time with Geoff, Paul, Deborah and Ric as companions, and eventually Ken. No, hang on, I think Ric eventually joined up with Group 3… The route took us firstly to Thaxted via some very pleasant lanes and then through to Little Bardfield and Great Bardfield, home of many famous painters, before enjoying good coffee and substantial cakes at the Blue Egg, so substantial that my sausage roll also fed Howard and Andrew. But who got the prize once again for the largest cake and creamiest coffeee of the lot? None other than our dear friend Charles of course!

Well fuelled, three groups of Windmillers set off on the return leg more or less in the order they arrived, passing a wonderful display of wood carvings outside a pretty cottage on the way.

Tootling along in my Group 2 we heard a rush of wind and the famous five of Group 3, plus Ric, whizzed by at quite a speed, clearly keen to get back to the bar first or perhaps the need for Graham to find a cash machine for his imminent bar bill. Group 1 was also overtaken and then I think we overtook Group 1 who had stopped before Dunmow for a breather, so 1-2-3 at the start became 3-2-1 by the end but we all had a great ride.

Ken joined us towards the end, having cycled anti-clockwise to meet us, and soon we were all back in the garden of The Cock enjoying a good lunch and wishing Graham a very happy birthday in the usual Windmill manner, with other diners joining in. Top chap Graham! Thanks for the beers and for organising the ride. This is where we went:

Thanks also to photographers Charles, Simon and Andrew and well done to the several members who rode to the start and back, including Robert, Graham, Alan, Paul and Howard. That’s stamina for you!

Martin W

Thursday’s ride was organised by Martin W. A relatively local ride from the Coach and Horses, Newport (a pub massively refurbished since I was there last and stocked with a fine range of beers). The ‘twist’ on this ride was a visit to The Kia-Ora bungalow to visit Steve and Fiona Todd’s collection of 70 vintage motorbikes – more of which later.

The previous Monday, the Windmill ride had set off in the face of a cold northerly wind with a ‘significant’ probability of showers. It turned out (for those that completed the ride, me not amongst them) to be about as cold, wet and miserable as it can be in May. The forecast for Thursday’s ride was similar, so as I set off in pretty much full winter rain garb I was mentally composing a tale of abject, soggy misery for this blog. It didn’t happen ! To badly misquote Tenyson:

“Rain cloud to right of them,
Rain cloud to left of them,
Rain cloud in front of them
Volleyed and thundered ….”

The important thing here is no rain cloud actually appeared above them. We saw showers breaking all around us and evidence of soaking wet roads but we stayed dry and therefore, if not quite warm, comfortable. In fact, by the time we finished our ride and were tucking into birthday beers kindly funded by Howard, we were able to sup our beers outside in some sunshine (before it inevitably did rain and we adjourned to the bar).

But I get ahead of myself. 12 riders assembled at 09.00 for coffee and to pre-order food, some of whom I noticed had braved bare knees.

Our starting and finishing venue was the village of Newport. Newport used to contain a very large royal fish pond and hence was known as Newport Pond, but the pond has long since dried up. What Newport does have still (amongst other points of interest) are the church of St Mary the Virgin dating from the 14th century; many fine old houses dating from the 15th and 16th centuries and the grammar school founded in 1588.

Martin’s route, eschewing the busy main street where possible, did the Cook’s tour of many of these sights before heading out to Arkesden and Clavering then looping back via Rickling, Quendon and Ugley and past the historic London cycle club huts. Built just after WWII on donated land, these huts allowed London based cyclists to ride out on Saturdays, stay overnight, race on Sunday then head back to work on Monday. Worth seeking out anecdotes from Cambridge cyclist and author ‘Dr Hutch’.

Finally up the hill to Widdington, down to Newport then a loop out via the outskirts of Saffron Walden and Audley End before arriving back in Newport.

And the motorbike collection ? I have to thank Martin for the following words, my own knowledge of motorbikes extending no further than crashing a motor scooter into a ditch on Crete many years ago:

Through Martin’s membership of Uttlesford Ramblers he made the acquaintance of Steve Todd and his wife Fiona over lunch one day who revealed that they had a collection of around 70 vintage motorbikes and mopeds which we were welcome to view. Today was subsequently arranged for a visit to be made to their house in Newport, The Kia-Ora Bungalow, once the site of a café for cyclists and others.

Coffee, delicious cakes and a roaring fire welcomed us on arrival before Steve showed us around his bikes, ranging from bicycles with motors to racing bikes with sidecars (Steve’s speciality), trails bikes and sleek racers.

Steve won many medals and trophies during his racing career, starting in the ‘60s. Several members recognised bikes similar to those they rode in their wild youth. Tom Robinson would have enjoyed the visit (he’s busy mountain biking in France) as Steve helped Tom start his racing career on grass in the ‘70s.

Steve and Fiona have raised many thousands of pounds for the Essex and Herts Air Ambulance through opening their motorbike collection, which Windmillers were pleased to contribute to whilst thanking them for their kind hospitality.

Over lunch a list of ‘first ever’ motor bikes belonging to members on the ride was created:

Maurice – Hudson Autobike
Howard – Yamaha DT 175
Gareth – Yamaha DT 125
Ken – BSA ex-GPO 175
Nigel – BSA Bantam 125 (when aged11). The rest is history.
Simon – BSA Bantam 125 (built up from bits)
Rod – Francis Barnet 149
Andrew – Honda SS 50
Martin W – NSU Quickly

Howard, Maurice, Nigel, Graham, Neil, Martin W, Simon, Rod, Andrew, Alan, Mike, Evan. with Gareth and Ken joining en route.

We assembled at The Three Horseshoes at Helions Bumpstead earlier than usual, since the staff had worried Victor by saying that “an early departure and pub return was essential to ensure food availability”. Jeremy tried to join group1 but had to return to move his car so some local mobile post office, bank or some such could park in their usual place

Ah more to-ing and fro-ing.

Group 1 was eventually Myself, Howard, Maurice, Keith and Martin2, who mused on the origin of The Bumpsteads. So, I have searched for the answer. The planet is now a little warmer and some tech bro’ very slightly richer, but I can tell you all that “The place name Bumpstead originates from Old English, meaning a “place where reeds grow”. It is derived from bune (reeds, flax, or hemp) and stede (place or site). Now you can see how far human civilization has progressed.

Without further energy consumption I can also tell you that ‘The Three Horseshoes’ is derived from a farmer, who once had a horse, but one leg fell off. So, he only needed three horseshoes. The spare one is hanging up in the bar.

Now, can we please get on and ride our bikes.

The above photo shows the van and the discussion over parking arrangements. Also, some people having a chat, some people still arriving and a very patient bike which is waiting for somebody to eventually sit on it.

Go ahead. Get on. Make its day.

There were two further groups; Martin, Jenni, Deborah, Rod, Paul, and Ken then Victor, Graham, Charles, Jeremy and Alan.

We set out towards the Blue Egg in tolerably warm spring sunshine. It’s been so long since it rained, we would have to consult Chatgpt again to reassure ourselves that we were remembering it right.

The Blue Egg is located on part of Bluegate Hall Farm. The Egg derives from the hope that this shift away from traditional pig farming to a retail café and shop would grow into something else. It has.

Charles took full advantage of the calories available. Victor was starting to look more relaxed. Halfway through the ride and no disasters. Time for cake.

Inspection of the Blue Egg website shows the revamp of the kids’ part. Diversifying away from animals, which I assume bite and get you sued, to an ‘adventure playground’. Or swings and some logs as we would have called it many moons ago.

Fortunately, we were not further delayed because none of the club’s car-nuts had spotted the new Blue Egg – TOY LANDROVERS – on the website. Hireable for 10-minute periods it says. That was a lucky escape.

Some of the Blue Egg’s website was a bit more worrying.

I encourage you all to always examine advertising closely to avoid any subliminal messaging.

So, I’m supposed to want a hammer shaped bottle opener for my beer, am I? I don’t know if Deborah or Jenni do ‘fluffy’. I suspect not. But maybe that is the point. They are the ones out cycling. Maybe their sisters and daughters are too busy demonstrating their fluffy pink earmuffs on Tic-Tok.

This reminds me of a recent conversation. Father to son, “why haven’t you got a girlfriend yet” “Dad you don’t know how hard it is. On a date, when you can get them off their phones, you find they are air-heads and work in a nail bar”. “I see. I don’t think your mother has ever been into a nail bar. I must ask her, but she’s busy right now and won’t want me interrupting her”

My curiosity was aroused and I searched around pursuing my new-found interest in gender and socialization. I came across Butler’s theory of gender. Apparently, she is very clever and famous in certain circles. On reflection found I rather agree with her.

“Judith Butler’s gender theory argues that gender is not an internal essence or biological fact, but a performativity. A repeated, socially enforced set of acts (behaviour, clothing, speech) that create the illusion of a stable gender. Essentially, “doing” gender creates the illusion of “being” a gender, making it a social construct”.

I find that our society is quick reinforce gender assumptions, for instance to outfit male infants in blue and girls in pink. But history has a useful way of puncturing today’s assumptions. It shows this colour differentiation is quite new. Prior to the 1940s, boys wore pink and girls wore blue.

Trigger warning. Some people may find this bit of the blog upsetting.

If you don’t think advertising is important in enforcing social norms then consider this. We are told Santa Claus is real and he is a very jolly man dressed in red.

And it’s not true!

Sure, Santa Claus is real, but consulting Victorian Christmas cards will show you that he is supposed to be dressed in green. That was until a certain American company ran adverts in the 1930’s with him dressed in red.

The rest of the ride followed our own comforting traditions.

Group photos at the windmill. Return to the pub.

Where the necessity to hurry proved unfounded, since we were back by 12.30 and the kitchen staff were fine with a group of this size. Then a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday for Andrew, who kindly bought us all a drink as part of the celebration of another of his trips around the sun.

Special thanks go to Victor who stepped in to organize this ride at short notice. There’s quite protracted gap in the ride organizers spread sheet at the moment.

Should it be more widely disseminated?

Wow, what a route Keith conjoured up for this lovely ride through quiet and beautiful Essex lanes! Starting from The Bell Inn in Castle Hedingham the route took us clockwise through countless pretty villages and included a new coffee stop in the middle of nowhere, Greenstead Green.

And what a treat it was to have Deborah riding with us again after her recent hip operation, with thanks to Jenni for loaning her e-bike.

Castle Hedingham brings back fond memories for me. Stopping there for coffee on my first ever Windmill ride, I padlocked my bike to Vernon’s but forgot to bring the key. 30 minutes later and despite Maurice’s best efforts the owner of the café was able to cut through the cable. ‘Who invited this plonker?’ Vernon was heard to say, and how accurate he was. Somehow or other I was allowed to ride a second time under strict orders not to mess up the ride again.

And so it was an on-time departure on this ride for 15 Windmillers, who set off in 3 groups of 5. Besides Keith and Deborah the others who gathered at The Bell were Maurice, Brian, Andrew, Rod, Martin B, Paul, Simon, Howard, Victor, Ric, Jeremy, Alan and myself. Ken joined us after the coffee stop by cycling in the opposite direction.

Martha’s Tea Room turned out to be the focal point of the local area – a farm yard converted into a myriad of small businesses including Martha’s and even a Post Office, which is more than we have in Ickleton. The coffee and cakes were fine but Maurice and I, having arrived first, were served last not knowing what we had done to upset the staff.

Returning via the outskirts of Braintree and skirting Sible Hedingham we were soon back at The Bell in good time for some excellent beer and lunch.

Many thanks to Keith for organising the ride and to photographers including Keith, Brian and Simon. This is where we went:

Martin W