It started at the Red Cow in Chrishall with a simple request for a fish finger sandwich.
Red Cow staff “We only do things that are on the menu”.
Martin2 “OK give me a pen and I’ll write it on the menu”.
The riff came to my mind, “You can’t always get want”, from the Rolling Stones. Something in Mick Jagger’s demeanor however suggests to me that he lacks something more significant to him than a fish finger sandwich. Perhaps its a prescient commentary on pre-Thatcherite Britain. Or maybe Mr Jagger was referring to the human condition and some deeper desire for “Satisfaction” with life in general.
At the Red Cow it transpires that there is a menu, also a specials menu and then rising into the stratosphere of attempts at “customer satisfaction”, a special by pre-order only menu, whereupon one can obtain fish finger sandwiches. So, there you go, next time we can take full advantage of the service available and obtain true ‘Satisfaction’ at The Red Cow.
It was a very nice morning. The pub looked splendid in the summer sunshine.
We split into two groups of 6. Myself, Rod, Andrew, Gareth, Martin and Martin2. Group 2 Graham, Geoff, Nigel, Rick, Alan, Maurice. We were slightly delayed by bumping into two old friends of the club, Simon and Oli, former owners of the Windmill Pub in Great Chishill, the club’s spiritual home.
The route was approximately as shown.
The ride proceeded uneventfully enough. Only Andrew being a little delayed by catching a shoelace in his chain and Martin having some problem with ‘the master controller’ on his bike. Apparently, the more important the gadget, the smaller the electrical contacts.
We approached the coffee shop half way round with some trepidation.
In the past Poppy’s Barn had solved the conundrum of providing “customer satisfaction” by the simple expedient of stopping customers coming in. This applied especially to cyclists. Most especially to cyclists who complain, so we have avoided the place for around a year. Rod had decided to let “bygones be bygones” and give it another go. An appointment was duly made. The staff raised the Union Jack and put away the Swastika and the Jolly Roger, which they carefully folded-up and put in a drawer. The Bolshe proprietor had returned from his ‘customer satisfaction’ course transformed into a modern version of Uriah Heep.
“Oh, would you like coffee Sir. Myself and Mrs. Heep have looked forward to this, Sir, a long while. We had fears that our ‘umbleness stood in the way. ‘Umble we are, ‘umble we have been, ‘umble we shall ever be.”
“Oh, and cake Sir! You do us a great honour. I shall ask Mrs Heep to transport some of her very finest morsels from our ‘umble kitchen to here, for you, for your immediate delectation.”
My cake and coffee was well over £8. But of course I didn’t complain. Martin says his scrambled egg(?) was excellent and that its good to know that the free range, organic roosters will sup champagne and dine in style this summer eve, having provided such excellent service.
I should warn the rock fans among you that not all music has aged as well as the lyrics of Jagger and Richards. Old fans of Uriah Heep please take note.
The highlight of the 2nd leg was cycling past the Wenden’s Ambo nuclear missile silo.
The first I heard of it was Andrew saying, “in that window there it says, this house contains nuts”. Indeed, the village has gone nuts, though I am told that their negotiations will Moscow, concerning arms reduction, is going well. Early attempts at warhead generation has led to some radioactive contamination in the area and one of the resulting, huge, yellow snails was spotted at the level crossing.
Perhaps, like in the Cuban missiles, this missile too will soon be decommissioned, and I hope that I will be able to report progress in future blogs.
More immediately we noted the availability of a station mistress.
It’s good to know that even British Rail are getting more focused on ‘customer satisfaction’. I wondered if she will accept my pensioner’s rail card.
The final piece of ‘off road’ was a cool, green tunnel against the rising heat of midday and seemed designed to remind us how lucky we are to have all this excellent cycling so close by.
Thanks go to Rod for organising and re-trying some of our old haunts. Also, to Graham who celebrated his birthday and bought the beer. It was good to see Ken upon our return though this week he couldn’t quite make the cycling. Half marks, should try harder.
The Windmill Cycle Club 