22 January. The Fall Guys (and a Gal). 25 miles.

Who would have thought that within a mile of this glorious photograph of a pony and trap outside Furneux Pelham church, Windmillers were skidding and sliding on the most severe black ice experienced in the history of The Windmill Club? Despite messages and phone calls this didn’t stop Rod, Mike, Geoff, Charles, Martin (the fall guys) and Deborah (the fall gal) all toppling off at different times, some at Furneux Pelham and some elsewhere. Luckily all escaped serious injury but with a few bruises for some. Sadly, there is no photographic evidence of the carnage which took place – it’s hard to imagine from the photos that follow that such conditions could have existed, but they did. This is not fake news. (Happy to add photos of bruises at a later date. Ed.)

The ride planned for the day before was cancelled due to the high winds of Storm Christoph, but did anyone read The Guardian early on Friday?

Freeze expected on heels of flooding damage from Storm Christoph, shouted the headline and this was indeed confirmed by Charles at 07.44 and Andrew at 08.01.

For Martin, the day started with a slithery drive up to Chrishall from Ickleton – quite good fun in fact using opposite lock on some of the bends. But that resulted in another warning message to Windmillers followed by orders from barking Dawg Andrew to DISMOUNT on the hill down to Wicken Bonhunt. However, before then, Deborah had already had a nasty fall into the road when avoiding a car coming towards her and was taking it easy, suffering from a bruised hip, when Charles and Martin caught up with her between Rickling and Berden. Tales then slowly emerged of other falls, mainly on the Furneux Pelham black ice.

Charles sped on ahead and so Deborah and Martin cruised slowly onwards, stopping for a coffee in the bus shelter just before Furneux Pelham where a call was received from Charles warning of the ice in the lane after the church, where he had two falls.

Alan caught up as Deborah and Martin were chatting to the owner of the pony and trap in Furneux Pelham after which, with some trepidation, they proceeded onwards to tackle the ice. Just before getting to the dodgy part, they met Mike and Graham coming the other way, Mike having had a painful tumble but Graham managed to get through without falling, having sensibly reduced his tyre pressures. It was tempting to do a U-turn at that point but, hey-ho, Windmillers are always up for a challenge and so Alan led the way forward, very gingerly. The road was awash with water and black ice – a lethal combination – but having got through what was meant to be the worst bit, Martin had his second fall of the day (the first during a photo shoot) when, despite a shout from Alan, his Schwalbe Marathons at 90psi decided to give way on an icy camber and off he came. However, he was practically stationary at the time and his slow motion fall was described by Deborah, who had a good view from behind, as being ‘the most uncool fall’ she had ever witnessed. How’s that for fame?

Proceeding in a sociually distanced / obeying the rules fashion, the trio settled down to enjoy the final downwind stretch towards Anstey and Nuthamsted when Alan pulled up sharply with puncture no. 2 in his front tyre, the first one having happened before he set off. It was tough work getting his tyre back on the rim but once achieved all went smoothly from then on.

Others taking part were Howard, Julia, Lawrence, Brian and Jeremy. Howard and Roger were warned about the ice as they passed through Anstey and escaped unscathed, Julia used her gravel bike and went off road at times to avoid the ice, Lawrence went off-route, courtesy of Komoot, which must have known of the ice as it took him a different way, and Brian / Jeremy must have had a premonition of the disaster to come having announced beforehand they would not be riding the Furneux Pelham stretch – wise men! (Actually, it was because they were starting from Shelford – lucky them.)

This is the icy circuit:

Back at Charles’s house, where he was hosting the charity box, who would have known what adventures we had experienced? The weather was idyllic, Brian had been happily trying to obtain water from Charles’s emergency water supply (frozen solid perhaps) and Deborah was playing with her new puppy Esther which had returned for a spot of puppy sitting by Fiona. A different world.

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It was a lovely ride, Maurice, despite the ice but one we shall no doubt be still talking about for many years to come. And thanks to Andrew for his organisation and for barking orders at us – that’s what to expect from a good dawg. Thanks also to Brian and Deborah for some of the photos (and for the blog title, Deborah!).

Martin

PS Charles reports that the grand sum of £115 was raised, which includes some past debts and advance payments. Maurice will soon need to present a balance sheet to keep tabs on the accounts.